


Peeta's Pocket

by Buttercupbadass



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Crack, F/M, For Your Protection, For your pleasure, crack for crack's sake, did I mention this is crack, holy latex mother, no zygote will be made, soldier on, things a condom would say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 06:52:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15189212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttercupbadass/pseuds/Buttercupbadass
Summary: "Growing Together" as told by Peeta's Pocket Condom; a story of sexual frustration and protection





	Peeta's Pocket

**Author's Note:**

> For @katnissdoesnotfollowback because she laughs at my ridiculous observations and encouraged this crack. "Is it me or does it look like he has a condom in his pocket?"

My brothers and I are soldiers in formation, ready at a moment’s notice to do our job to defend and protect.  We will go into battle one at a time but we will fight the same war. The enemy will not slip by us. The threat will be contained.   We will give our lives to defend our man.

 

We stand at attention as our box is opened.  I am first in line. It is my job to relay intel back to my brothers as I await my fate.   He is an older man, distinguished. “We can work with this.” I tell my brothers. But wait, he is handing me to a younger man, a good looking kid. “We could see a lot of action boys!” I amend my report.

 

“Now Peeta, it’s been a long time since you’ve seen her.   I’ve not heard good things about her condition. You will have to be patient with her and careful. You could have a flashback anytime.  Even if she’s receptive to a relationship, take it slow. You will have to build trust. When the time is right, use one of these. Keep it with you at all times.  A pregnancy now would be detrimental to both your recoveries.” 

 

Don’t worry Doc, that’s why my brothers and I are here. No zygote will be made on our watch.  Our boy takes me in his hand, looks me over and slips me into his pocket. My brothers are packed into a satchel.   “We are locked and loaded boys!” I report.

 

There’s not much to report to the troops the first couple days.  The boy is traveling and while a few prospects approach, I have a feeling our boy  has a specific target in mind. The doc mentioned a girl.

 

We make it back to the place he calls home.   It’s a big house. I’d say it’s a big house for filling with children if it weren’t my job to prevent those parasites.   It’s a warm Spring day when we arrive and our boy gets busy early. Not the kind of busy that we like but, I have a feeling whatever he is doing is for the target.  He’s nearly finished planting sunny yellow flowers beside a neighboring house when she approaches. Being close to his skin, I can sense a rise in his pulse and temperature.

 

“Peeta, you’re home,”  she says and I swear I feel the boy vibrate with excitement.   After a few words she’s hugging him. 

 

“At attention boys, we have a target!” Nice to meet you ma’am.  The boys and I are at your service and ribbed for your pleasure. We’ll protect you from invading spermatozoa.  Your cycle is safe with us. Now go, fornicate with our boy. 

 

She turns and leaves our boy standing there, holding a flower wilting in the sun as fast as my hopes for battle. “At ease, my brothers.”  We’ll get her next time, Kid. 

 

Only we don’t. And we don’t the time after that or the night after night we spend in her home.   There’s an older man there too, a father figure. Maybe he’ll encourage the boy. But I’m afraid he drinks too much and cannot be of any help.   After about a month the troops are getting restless. They are hungry for action. We get flashes of excitement when fingers accidentally brush. He turns to the side when she hugs him because he can’t control his erection.  After a month, the unthinkable happens. He puts me back in the box with my brothers. The troops are concerned. We do not last forever and we fear hitting our expiration date before having done our duty, a sad predicament for our kind.   “Calm down boys.” I try to reassure them. “We are not without hope. I think we’ve got ourselves a Virgin Scenario. It’s nothing we haven’t trained for, we just have to be patient. The Target is receptive, I can tell. We just have to wait it out.  He’ll come to us when it’s time.” 

 

And he does, I am taken out of the box, assigned once more to my post in his pocket. It’s Summer now and the heat does things to humans. Senses are heightened and our boy, is ready to shoot his load at the slightest provocation. I can tell things are different now.

 

“We have kissing.”  I tell the troops after watching him part from her after a walk in the woods.   I wish he would have thrown her against a tree and buried us deep inside her but, I have to remember we are working with a VS. I’m pretty sure it is actually a Double VS, where the target is inexperienced as well.  “Patience my brothers. We will get there and it will be glorious.” A resolved Double VS can burn through a box of soldiers in a weekend. 

 

I am rapidly losing hope in our boy.  Two months of chaste kisses is torture for us fighters.  Summer has turned to fall and we have progressed no further.  Our boy shows no interest in other targets yet has made no progress with this one.  Currently they are laying cuddled together on her bed, he spends most nights there holding her and nothing else.   Kissing has become “goodbye” kisses only. I’d worry there might be a physical malfunction somewhere but judging by the morning wood he sports daily, we have no problem there.   No problem at all. 

 

One Fall night,  I watch from my pocket.  They lay in bed, he has his arm around her as she is wrapped to his side. His hand lazily strokes up and down her back, comforting her.   He hesitates slightly at the bottom of his stroke. Come on boy just go down a little further. Cup that ass, she’ll get the idea! Come on boy, you can do it.  She’ll like it. Just give it a little squeeze. He hesitates as if he can hear me, his fingers curl and uncurl themselves before heading back up her spine. So close,  next time boy. I watch as the Target cuddles closer to his side, her knee grazes his unit. Our boy’s eyes roll back into his head and his breath hitches. Oh she wants it.

 

Another fall day brings our couple out of the house, walking side by side they venture to a meadow.  Their fingers are entwined, they pull and press together as their steps meander over the terrain. Our boy is humming with excitement.  The kisses have been heating up, the tongue is engaged more times than not now. There have even been a few grazes of her breasts. The boy is a rocket ready to go off and I am ready to catch him.

 

A blanket is spread on the ground of a hill overlooking the meadow.  The trees that surround it have all turned brilliant colors. Our boy looks strong and healthy.  Our girl is wearing a dress. “This is new, brothers. We have romance!” Their meal is ignored as they hungrily kiss.  He finally takes the initiative to grab her ass and pull her close. She sighs. See boy, I told you she’d like it! Hands are wandering in a frenzy.  He slides her skirt up her thighs and he slips his fingers into her panties. Gotta play this cool boy, take your time, get her there first. Our boy has the same idea and he makes her sing on his fingers,  “Well done! Female orgasm reached.” I can hear my troops cheering from their box. 

 

I am preparing to meet my maker when the Target goes rogue.  After regaining her faculties, she reaches for his fly. Oh no, this is not a good idea right now!  Her lithe little hand slips in and pulls his member out of his pants. She strokes him as she pulls him closer.  Stop her boy! You’ll never make it. I hear him swear. He’s too far gone. It only takes a few strokes. “We have spillage, my brothers!  Spill is contained. Ovum is in no danger.” I report to my men. Their disappointment is evident but the joy on our boy’s face leaves me hopeful for a battle to rival all in the near future.  

 

Pleasuring each other has become their new favorite pastime.  As the days have gotten colder, they spend more and more time indoors and more and more time engaging in successful pre-coital exercises. I however, remain forever ensconced in my denim purgatory.   Spills happen multiple times a day, clothing is soiled since they rarely remove it. But still, we soldiers are resolute. We have heard this stage can last awhile with a Double VS. However, these two seem to have unfettered access to each other and apparent tremendous self control.  “Soon,” I reassure my brothers, but I worry. 

 

The day of the first snowfall our boy approaches the Target from behind as she stands at the window in the kitchen watching the first flakes fall.  His hands slip under her sweater as they have many times and then one travels down into her pants. He begins to work her as she grips the counter. He is kissing her neck and tweaking her nipple and she begins to moan.  She doesn’t reach her peak, perhaps from fear of being seen in the window. In frustration, he pulls her pants down her legs and she kicks them to the side. “Clothes have been removed!” I report. 

 

“Where are you?”  they ask. 

 

“Kitchen,” I respond to grumbles.    A VS resolving in the kitchen is not standard protocol but, when have these two ever gone by the book? “Stand by, we may still be in mutual masterbation mode.”    She turns in his arms and jumps up, wrapping her legs around him and he takes her away from the window and brings her to the table. He sets her down and we get our first real look at the ultimate goal.  He is frozen in place until that damn little hand reaches out to palm him through his pants.  _ Here we go again  _ I think until I hear…

 

“Peeta, do you still have that condom?” He reaches into my pocket and I see the blinding light of the promise land.  

 

“Are you sure? Here?” he asks.  Don’t question it man! 

 

She nods!   Oh you beautiful creature, you!  I will protect you with my last breath.  He sets me on the table next to her ass as her hands open his pants to let them fall to the floor.  He doesn’t bother stepping out of them, just leans in to kiss her. Aw, that’s sweet, now get busy! He reaches for me.  Just then there’s a stomping noise on the step outside the kitchen. My kids scramble to find their discarded clothing, I am swept up in his palm and hidden behind his back.   The old man takes his time climbing the steps before knocking. “Cockblocked! I repeat, we have a cockblock! Stand down, troops.”

 

A few hours ago I was seconds away from having my package ripped open. Now I’m back in my cage. The old man knows he interrupted something with his arrival.  He’s teasing them. The Target is blushing. Knock it off old man, don’t embarrass her. She leaves the room with bright red cheeks. The old man leaves and our boy stays to watch him make it home.  As he climbs the stairs to the bedroom, I can tell he’s conflicted. Will they pick up where they left off or will they let the coitus interruptus stand for another day? His dick knows what it wants.   Everything depends on the receptiveness of the Target. Her earlier embarrassment doesn’t bode well. He knows she can turn cold. He’s bargaining with his dick as he climbs the stairs. “Don’t push her,” he thinks while I’m screaming, Jump her!

 

She’s in the closet when he comes to their room.  It’s not a good sign when she hides. “Did Haymitch make it home OK?”

 

“Yeah, I watched until he was in the door,”  he says, removing his shirt.

 

“Good,” she says and Holy Latex Mother! She exits the closet completely naked and she is beautiful!  A true sight to behold. I wish my brothers could see what I’m seeing. But they will soon enough! Our boy is sitting on the edge of the bed and nearly slips off in shock at the beauty before him.   His mouth opens to speak but only unintelligible mumbling comes out. She’s smiling and giggling a little at his expense.

 

“I was going to put on some of the fancy lingerie but I thought, it’s better this way.”   Our boy only nods. Kid, don’t waste time, come back for seconds later just get the job done.  As she walks to him, he reaches for me and sets me nearby. She crawls onto his lap. Our boy wastes no time, he flips them and lays her out on the bed.  Kissing her body as he asks, “You love me, real or not real?” 

 

“Real,” she says between moans.  

 

This is it, Kid!  Take it slow. He sheds his pants.  “Nudity has been achieved, troops!”  Kneeling between her legs he raises me to show her.  She nods. “It’s Go Time! My wrapper has been breached, I repeat, I am out of the foil!”

 

“I love you Katniss,” he whispers while positioning us for entry.

 

“See you on the other side, my brothers!  I am going in!”

  
  
  
  



End file.
